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Codependency in relationships

Updated: Jul 14

There is a desire for companionship among many of us, seeking a meaningful relationship. This seems to be a prevailing sentiment among my circle of friends. While friends and family can provide support, for some individuals, it may not be sufficient. It is important to emphasize that being single is acceptable and can even be beneficial. If you do not currently feel the need for a romantic partnership, that is perfectly fine. Each person is unique, and I have simply encountered more individuals who are seeking the ideal connection in a relationship.


What is codependency?


If you find yourself in an unhealthy relationship but struggle to break free, you might be experiencing codependency. Various factors could be holding you back from leaving your partner. People with codependent tendencies often seek validation and reassurance from their partner, relying on them to fulfill their emotional needs even when it's evident that their own needs are not being met. You may go to great lengths to become the perfect partner in this situation.


Signs of Codependency


Identifying codependent behaviors is important if you want to have a healthy relationship.


  • People-Pleasing: Always putting your partner's needs before your own can lead to resentment towards your partner or yourself if you suppress your emotions too much.

  • Lack of Boundaries: Struggling to establish and maintain personal boundaries can result in a blurred self-identity.

  • Low Self-Esteem: Seeking external validation to feel worthy or loved.

  • Fear of Abandonment: This is a distressing emotion. The fear of being abandoned can cause us to cling to unhealthy relationships.



How to we cope with "Codependency"


Acknowledging and how codependency is impacting you and your relationship.

Steps to release codependency.


1. Journal/Self-Reflection


Make it a daily habit to jot down your thoughts and emotions in your journal. Recognize stress triggers related to your relationships without dwelling on them too much. Simply let your mind ponder on the effects of these stressors and express your thoughts and feelings. Consider also how your responses might be influencing your partner, if you have one.


2. Set appropriate limits with others


Setting boundaries with others can be difficult to do all at once. Start by identifying two aspects or areas that you want to keep for yourself. Once you have chosen these, you can establish boundaries with others to safeguard your time, yourself, and your personal space.


3. Nurture your wellbeing through self-care


Engaging in self-care activities does not always require getting a massage or dining at an upscale restaurant. If you have the means, you can opt for these additional self-care practices. By prioritizing your well-being and utilizing basic self-care techniques, you can enhance your mood and boost your self-worth by establishing boundaries with others to ensure your self-care needs are met.


4. Therapy


If you are struggling with self-management, contact your local mental health clinic to arrange a meeting with a certified therapist.


The Road to Healthy Relationships


Breaking free from codependency is a complex process that cannot be rushed. Therapy and the healing journey require time and effort to address emotions, past traumas, and develop healthier relationships with your partner, friends, and yourself. Progress may feel slow and non-linear, but it's crucial to be patient, show self-compassion, and allow yourself to move at your own pace.


Ultimately, embarking on a healing journey will lead you to embracing self-love. By engaging in this process, you will nurture self-love, establish healthy boundaries, and prioritize your own well-being, thus creating a path towards a more harmonious and rewarding relationship.


After achieving a sense of completeness and recognizing your worth in a healthy relationship, you can begin to connect with others. When you find the right partner, they will help in your healing process.

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