It is really difficult when you have toxic parents, siblings or the family dynamics itself is toxic. You can feel the tension in your body when you are around them. You might have done whatever you could to improve the dynamics, but are still struggling with the residual effets of toxic family members. Some of you may decide to cut ties with toxic family members that include parents. It is very complicated and even sad for some, and it is the best decision-triumphs for others.
I have witnessed professionally, personally...that at the very least some of us can use a break from toxic family members. This is a big decision depending on your specific situation. and I would like for you to think about these aspects that may help you to make more informed decisions for yourself. Step 1) We first want to assess and see if softer approach could suffice the situation. How about setting more firm boundaries with toxic family members? Is your toxic family member open to feedback and negotiation? then maybe there is a hope. That's the first thing that I did for my situation before going total disconnect. After all, communication may alleviate the situation in some cases. 2) Pick the battle. Really think about this toxic family member's behaviors. What part of their behaviors made it intolerable for you? 3) Who else can you be supportive of you? It can feel isolating and lonely while going through repeated rejections from toxic family members on your own. This is a good time to seek professional support such as licensed therapists, group support... 4)When should you do this? Well, this all depends on how this is all impacing you. If the toxic family member's outrageous toxicity is negatively impacting your mental health, I would say "immediate" interventions are needed. Immediate interventions include cease contact for sometimes until you process your feelings and thoughts with your therapist. Depending on what is done to you, you don't have to do any of the strategies and go straight to no-contact rule. Most likely you will discuss with your chosen family, friends and therapist but I have seen that myself. 5) If you are struggling with your decision, it's almost like you know you are in a negative relationship, you still dragging your feet. Please create a pros and cons list. What are the pros of continuing th relationship with toxic family looks like to you? What about the cons? Open your heart and breathe and trust your gut feelings. 6)Depending on why you are cutting times with family, it is very challenging. Maybe your family is not willing to accept your same sex partner, or your parent abused you as a child. And this does not mean thst you have to cut ties with them forever. Most people are likely go back and forth because of dilemma. Are you able to see them once in a while if you have strict boundaries in place?
7) Again, work with therapist is so crucial because you are letting go of your toxic family dynamics and you are likely to feel all kinds of feelings. Be patient with yourself, get curious toward your feelings and this is the new beginnig for you even if you were to have a relationship with your family at some point.
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