These are my favorite skills. We get overwhelmed with stressful situations, "triggers", "work" and our nervous system can be overwhelmed with different things. What should we do? Well, there are a few things that you can do to cope with overwhelming feelings. First of all, let's identify your feelings and emotions. Then let's become curious toward these feelings/emotions/bodily sensations. Where do you feel in or around your body? What is it saying to you? I said this to some of my friends, but curiosity is compassion. Many of us including myself shut down any type of so called "negative emotions/feelings" that are uncomfortable.
We can use self-soothing skills to ground and calm ourselves. It can help us to regulate our emotions. Prolonged fight or flight feelings can elevate blood pressure, heart rate, upset your GI, affect sleep and it is really important to manage and maintain your emotional wellbeing by practicing relaxation, self-soothing skills.
First thing that I do is to focus on my breath. And it is not always the easiest thing to do. But it works for a lot of people. Breath is always there for you. You can do flower breathing, square box breathing to focus on kind, slow, deep breath, which will alleviate symptoms of anxious thoughts and feelings.
Another thing that I would like for you to try is stretching. and Try to stretch your body, arms, legs and also practice deep breathing and visualizing warm air circulating your body to give you an energy. You can try Progressive Muscle Relaxation You breath as you tighten your body part and breathe out as you relax that body part. It's instant and you can really feel the body relaxing slowly. Frequent progressive muscle relaxation can release all sorts of knots, physical and emotional tension.
Visualization: Visualize your safe or calm place in your heart. This could be imaginary or actual place you enjoy visiting. For me, one of my favorite places is beach. I remember going to this specific wild beach at 2 am in the morning to catch the bioluminescence and I have no words to describe this enormous feelings that I felt inside my body. When I need a little pick me up moment, I take myself there through visualization exercise. My heart is full.
Loving and kindness: You may be very kind to others but are you kind toward yourself? It is so important because nobody sticks up for you and you absolutely deserves compassion for all the hard work you do for yourself, family, work, community...whatever you do. You deserve self-compassion. I catch myself saying very negative things toward myself and I later found out this was not only effective but it was hurting my self-esteem, making me less productive, and worsened fight/flight response. If you have difficulty being kind to yourself, you can ask yourself. "What would I say to my best friend if she was going through this now?" It is interesting because many of us have double standards, meaning we have higher standards for ourselves.
Mantra-cheer leading-This can be a little awkward at first but if you can practice it even for 5 minutes a day, you are moving toward the direction of your goals. When fear is overwhelming and escaping or fleeing seems like the only option, what can you say to yourself in the moment. "I have done it before. I will get through it again." "I am a resilient person and I may feel anxious and I will do my best." "I am going to be just fine." "You can get through this!" "You got this"
5-4-3-2-1 sensory grounding technique: take 3 cleansing deep breaths and then ask yourself "what are the 5 things you see in your room?" Name 5 things. "What are the 4 things you can hear?" It could be the sound of heater, wind blowing, typing sound, bird chirping..What are the 3 things you can touch? What are 2 things you can smell? Can you smell clean laundry? If you have a fur animal, do you smell them? finally 1 thing you can taste or remember the taste of it. It is difficult to focus on negative thoughts or rumination while doing this exercise using all our "senses."
Movement and physical activity: Intense exercise releases endorphins, "feel good hormones:" and it is very helpful to engage in healthy movement related activities to release stress, overwhelm and to activate your energy center. You may not feel like exercising then you can try dancing, taking a walk, skipping (this makes me feel silly) and notice how much lighter you feel in your body.
Self-care activities: Focus on your hobbies including reading your favorite books, watch your favorite movies that are soothing, Take a warm bath and add your favorite essential oils, bath salts, bubble bath and you can have fun with it. You can engage in coloring book while listening to your favorite book.
There are tools that can be added to self-care toolbox basket. It's quite extensive and if one activity does not work, it does not mean that something is wrong with you or you failed. It just means you are going to try something else. Accumulate positive feelings through activities you enjoy.
Many of us live busy lifestyles, and some people struggle more than others, which is normal. Self-soothing is a great skill and self-soothing tool box can look different depending on the client.
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