It is very challenging to have to cope with constant negative self-talk and some thoughts are easier for us to let go, and others keep coming back and we are ruminating at that point.
There are certain tools you can use to cope with persistent, negative self-talk.
Mindfulness: Pay attention to your thoughts and accompanying physical sensations. Get curious toward your negative self-talk instead of pushing it away, pushing it down or of avoiding. Try to remind yourself that "thoughts are thoughts. Just because you have catastrophic thoughts, it does not mean something is really wrong with you or your situation or it does not necessarily mean that something bad will be happening to you." Notice your thought, get curious instead of judging it, and recognize thoughts are thoughts, let them come and go, let them be, and try not to judge yourself hard for having negative self-talk.
Cognitive reframe or restructure: Once you identify unhelpful negative statements, you can ask yourself "Is this really true? Am I making an assumption? Am I reading people's mind?" For example, if you have this thought that everybody at work hates you, you want to ask yourself "is there evidence supporting my belief?" "Is there evidence refuting your negative thought? Remember the nice things one of your coworkers said to you? Could it be that your supervisor was having a difficult day which had nothing to do with you. Try not to personalize it!
Loving and Kindness for self: You can call it self-compassion. Acknowledge that you are not perfect, everybody has flaws. Nobody is perfect. Acknowledge, notice and embrace your feelings and try to speak with that part of you that is struggling with self-esteem. What would you say to your best friend?
Distracting: No matter what you do, you cannot change your negative self-talk and it's getting overwhelming, then you can try distracting yourself by engaging in pleasurable activities even 10 minutes at a time. Coloring book, reading, taking a walk, calling your supportive friend, count the colors of your room, observe people without judgment, This is not to avoid the self-talk but you can use distraction technique when this cognitive reframe process gets too overwhelming. If you enjoy cleaning, organizing, this could be a good time to channel your energy to something productive. And notice what happens to negative self-talk.
Thought stopping technique: I was taught this technique in the past and this could work for some people. As soon as your mind starts to have negative self-talk, say it to yourself STOP! you can also snap a rubber band on your wrist to interfere with rumination. But don't snap too hard :)
Support system: Call or text supportive friends or family members. If you are really overwhelmed and cannot get out of rumination, you can text 988. National suicide prevention line and you can either call or text. You don't need to wait till you feel suicidal or contact this number.
Daily self-care: Eat healthy balanced meals, stay hydrated, exercise if you are able to, sleep 7-8 hours. If you have health issues, please seek medical attentions. Write down five things you are grateful for each night in your journal book. Set up time for pleasurable activities.
Surround yourself with supportive caring people: This is a good time to identify your own supportive friends and family. Set boundaries with friends or family members who are toxic and cannot respect you.
There is not quick fix for persistent chronic negative self-talk and rumination. So it is important to practice mindfulness, taking one step at a time, give yourself some credit for practicing self-compassion and for creating space around negative thoughts.
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